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Is it Time for a Change?

Recently a little bird told me that I have too much point in my faux hawk. This came as a surprise since I've been sporting this haircut for about 5 years now and it really hasn't changed during that time. I always thought that it was a good style, one that has been worn by the likes of Andy Roddick, David Beckman, and Jude Law to name but a few.

However, maybe the little bird is right, perhaps it is time for a change. As an experiment I thought I'd try a few styles and solicit opinions from the readers of this blog. I hope to illustrate that the faux hawk truly is the right haircut for my head and personality.

The Malfoy
It's slick and easy and makes a guy either look tough (e.g.
James Dean), prophetic (e.g. President Monson), or as my father would point out like a drug dealer. I personally think considering my deep set eyes it makes me look like a druggie not a drug dealer.

The Matrix
Maybe my hair isn't funky enough and I need to try something that's a little more cutting edge. I know Jada Pinkett Smith sported this hairdo in "The Matrix" and it made her look hip so maybe it will work for me. The great thing about this is that it's low maintenance as this is how I look when I wake up.

The Wolverine
I happen to know that the "Little Bird" in question thinks Hugh Jackman is the "Cat's Meow." I might not have the claws, I definitely don't have the muscles, but with a little longer hair I too could shape my head to mimic the largest land dwelling species of the weasel family.

The Alfalfa
Oh yeah, I went there and you love it! This hairdo is a real crowd pleaser. It's sure to make one look like a nerd/geek which considering my obsession with BSG (that's Battlestar Galactica people!) really isn't far from the truth. The only downfall to this crome dome is that it requires a substantial amount of gel.

The 80s Feather
Okay, I will be the first to admit that I don't pull this off as well as Shar (Oh burn! Wow, I just took a page out of her own playbook. Not bad for a 10 year old, huh?) In any case, it's light and fluffy and makes you think back to days when they made films with deep meaning like "The Breakfast Club." (-;

The Dumb & Dumber
Words alone are not enough to describe this hairdo. The picture tells the real story, let us stop and have a moment of silence...... Thank you.

The Christian
This hair style is not for the faint of heart but is seriously "Fierce!" I put this in here to illustrate that despite what some may think I really do I have a normal and tame haircut.

So, little bird the next time you think my hair is out of control just look at these photos and remember it could be a lot worse! (-:


The Queen Vee said...

I vote Matrix, just go to bed with a wet head, get out of bed, some gel and it's a done deal.

If I gave awards you would win it for"Is it time for a change".

Tweet, tweet

Jennerator said...

HAHAHAHA! I had no idea there were that many styles for men, too bad you don't have longer hair, you would have infinite possibilities, like the mullet or the 80's metal or even Johnny Depp pirate.

My personal fav is the dumb and dumber, you nailed it (not that it's too hard to gel your hair straight down)!

The Carlsons said...

Clearly, Sapient is not keeping you busy enough. I think you should shave your head bald or grow a mullet.

Spymommy said...

I would have voted for the Christian, except you didn't get it right - it is supposed to be down in the front bang part and spiked in the back. Your spike is way to close to the front.

I (and I'm sure the little bird) are curious as to why you couldn't find one respectable "grown man" hair cut to try - it would look so nice with your argyle sweater collection. ;)

Tobi said...

Ha ha! I love the Wolverine hair style. But you would always have to wear a wife beater.

Crazy Granny said...

Why oh why didn't you try for Cary Grant? Oh well, I suppose that he's a little to suave to try and replicate. Since you can't have that I vote for Alfalfa

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

I've had a rough weekend at my grandmothers house and between reading this and seeing that Chris has entered the blogging world - I can go to bed happy now.

And Wolverine.

It's retro and butthead and cool all at the same time.

Mona said...

I think you should grow a Mullet. I'm disappointed that this was not one of the options.

The Carlsons said...

Matt....tell the little bird that your faux hawk is totoally hip and in style....Chris has been sporting it since before it was cool and now the lead singer for One Republic, who is very good looking has one. Stick with what you've got....A

Spymommy said...

Please reveal the identity of the little bird so people will quit pointing their fingers at me.

Matt said...

I will not reveal the identity of the little bird as I fear the bird in question may start pecking me.

Kirsten said...

Okay, you need to give yourself a bloggie for this entry...can you do that? Way to much effort went into that post not to. You are hysterical.
Oh, yeah, don't listen to the bird.

acte gratuit said...

I'm going to show this to Doug and tell him it's time for a change!

Quintuplet Dad said...

Dude, I don't know. I am definitely not one to give any suggestions being that my hair hasn't significantly changed since...well, since it went curly in 9th grade. I say go for something that you think is really awful because you will probably be a trend setter and people will start to think it is cool and pretty soon, it will be the hairstyle everybody else has.

summer said...

i dunno man, im diggin the 80's feather-except it will be weird seeing you with out that faux-hawk!