Don't be mad. It's not like I've gone 2 months without posting a blog entry. I would never do such a thing! My style is more like 2 months and 5 days, please give me some credit. In any case I'm sure you have better things to do then sit around and read my boring blog, even if I am freaking hilarious!
So you may be wondering why this blog entry is entitled "Shock and Awe." I suppose the simple answer is that I'm actually writing a blog entry after a very long hiatus. However, during my absence many things have happened that have been both shocking and awe inspiring and so this entry will focus on them.
SHOCK: I have a blog stalker. You know who you are, I know who you are and I know you're reading. You may have had the upper hand before but with this newfound revelation I will skillfully craft my words...... whatever that means.
AWE: My father played 18 holes of golf in the 90s. If you don't believe in a Supreme Creator then please reread that last sentence. After a year of not playing golf, several months of cancer treatment, and a whole bunch of lost muscle/weight he still shot in the 90s. If that's not proof of divine intervention then I need to quit this game.
SHOCK: My brother has feelings. He may not show it that often but after my last visit to Virginia I am no longer convinced that his heart is made of stone.
More like soft sedimentary rock. I love you brother!
AWE: Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, and Rafael Nadal. If you have no idea why I am mentioning those 3 athletes then you probably are a more productive individual then I am.
SHOCK: My wife did not finish the new Stephenie Meyer's book in a day. She didn't even finish it in 2 days! It ended up being a 4 day affair. LITERALLY! I'm not complaining though since I've found that personally having pale skin and sharp canine teeth has benefits every time she finishes reading these books.
AWE: iPhone 3G. How did I live without you? This device is the greatest thing since sliced bread! I can check my email from anywhere, browse the internet, pay my bills, and use realtime GPS. I can even update my blog, not that I have, but I could....oh yes, I could! Muhahahahaha! Sorry, got a little carried away there.
SHOCK: This summer my family flew to both San Diego and Virginia. My tickets to San Diego for 4 people were under $600 dollars. My trip to Virginia had a layover in each direction and neither was delayed. The children were wonderful for both trips. I need to go back and look in the Book of Revelation but I'm pretty sure this is a sign of that end of the world is near at hand.
SHOCK AND AWE: So you may be wondering why I haven't blogged for such a long time. I feel that since some of you have been so patient I owe it to you to come clean. This may be shocking to some of you but the truth is......
And I hope you can take this with an understanding of the real importance for the greater good.
The truth is......
I AM BATMAN.