Hello world! Did you miss me? Don't be mad. It's not like I've gone 2 months without posting a blog entry. I would never do such a thing! My style is more like 2 months and 5 days, please give me some credit. In any case I'm sure you have better things to do then sit around and read my boring blog, even if I am freaking hilarious!
So you may be wondering why this blog entry is entitled "Shock and Awe." I suppose the simple answer is that I'm actually writing a blog entry after a very long hiatus. However, during my absence many things have happened that have been both shocking and awe inspiring and so this entry will focus on them.
SHOCK: I have a blog stalker. You know who you are, I know who you are and I know you're reading. You may have had the upper hand before but with this newfound revelation I will skillfully craft my words...... whatever that means.
AWE: My father played 18 holes of golf in the 90s. If you don't believe in a Supreme Creator then please reread that last sentence. After a year of not playing golf, several months of cancer treatment, and a whole bunch of lost muscle/weight he still shot in the 90s. If that's not proof of divine intervention then I need to quit this game.
SHOCK: My brother has feelings. He may not show it that often but after my last visit to Virginia I am no longer convinced that his heart is made of stone.
More like soft sedimentary rock. I love you brother!
AWE: Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, and Rafael Nadal. If you have no idea why I am mentioning those 3 athletes then you probably are a more productive individual then I am.
SHOCK: My wife did not finish the new Stephenie Meyer's book in a day. She didn't even finish it in 2 days! It ended up being a 4 day affair. LITERALLY! I'm not complaining though since I've found that personally having pale skin and sharp canine teeth has benefits every time she finishes reading these books.
AWE: iPhone 3G. How did I live without you? This device is the greatest thing since sliced bread! I can check my email from anywhere, browse the internet, pay my bills, and use realtime GPS. I can even update my blog, not that I have, but I could....oh yes, I could! Muhahahahaha! Sorry, got a little carried away there.
SHOCK: This summer my family flew to both San Diego and Virginia. My tickets to San Diego for 4 people were under $600 dollars. My trip to Virginia had a layover in each direction and neither was delayed. The children were wonderful for both trips. I need to go back and look in the Book of Revelation but I'm pretty sure this is a sign of that end of the world is near at hand.
SHOCK AND AWE: So you may be wondering why I haven't blogged for such a long time. I feel that since some of you have been so patient I owe it to you to come clean. This may be shocking to some of you but the truth is......
And I hope you can take this with an understanding of the real importance for the greater good.
The truth is......
I AM BATMAN.
10 comments:
Oh my gosh, is that Molly Ringwald staring at me? Suddenly I'm feeling the urge to break out into the white girl shuffle!
Glad you're back, man! Now, I demand photo updates of the girls.
Awe, this was worth the wait, but don't take such shocking long time to post again.
You're Batman, i thought it was your father.
You have a stalker?
That is shocking!
But it makes sense to me. You are awefully awesome even if you can't post regularly because of your super hero double life.
See BooChick, I mean Batmatt, I mean MattBan - that wasn't so hard, was it?
And now I have such a huge grin on my face because the baby is blogging again. You bring people joy when you blog and sorrow when you don't . . . do you really want that on your conscience?
With that new fadangled phone of yours that moonlights as a white hand grenade, you really have NO EXCUSE not to keep us in the loop now.
People need to know - so get going!
Welcome back, BatMatt.
You haven't lost your great sense of humor!
One of these days, some clever blog stalker is going to decipher all the strange posts that have been appearing and decipher the actual date and location of D-Day. But not today.
Just tell me if I've won a bloggie yet or not!
Now matt you know you can't count your mom as a blog stalker.
MR.I'm so cool because I can read this comment on my ridiculously cool phone.
This may shock you, but you have had more than 1 blog stalker...all in good spirit, of course. It's been awesome!
HA.
HA HA HA.
Awesome. No seriously.
Love you guys.
Missed your writing.
Glad you are back to it.
Even more glad that I'm an unofficial sister. ☺
I believe you about your blog stalker now. Sorry I doubted you.
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